The Situation:
It was supposed to be a simple dinner downtown with my son. As the city lights began to twinkle, I hesitantly let him take the wheel—not because I doubted his driving, but because I feared motion sickness might spoil my appetite. The streets were bustling, forcing us to drive up to the top of the nearest parking ramp, where the only available space awaited us.
As I stepped out into the chilly evening air, the scene below caught my eye. Suddenly, a cold sweat broke over me, my body started to shake, and tears streamed down my face. My son, alarmed, rushed to my side. “Mom, what is wrong!” he exclaimed, fear coloring his voice. I managed to whisper, “I have to get down. Please don’t ask questions, just drive.”
We hurriedly descended the ramp, and once safely at the bottom, I exited the car, desperately trying to regain my composure.
Debriefing:
This unexpected and not-typical breakdown was a stark reminder of tragedies linked to this very spot. Just a few weeks earlier, a student had tragically jumped from this ramp, his life ending on the pavement below, witnessed by his unsuspecting friends. A friend’s child also met a similar fate here. The memories of these events, combined with two similar student deaths that year, had unexpectedly overwhelmed me.
Handling the logistics of these incidents professionally left my personal emotions unaddressed until that moment. Standing there, the secondary trauma hit me forcefully, my body reacting before my mind could catch up.
Teachable Moments:
This incident underscores an important truth: We don’t need to personally know someone to feel the impact of a tragedy. It’s natural to feel deep sorrow or even grief for those we’ve never met. Compartmentalizing is often necessary, but we must acknowledge that these feelings can resurface, demanding our attention when we least expect it.
Moving Forward:
Balancing the cumulative weight of traumatic events requires intentional effort to safeguard our emotional health. It’s crucial to recognize both the mental and emotional dimensions in such situations. Sometimes the heart feels before the mind understands, but both are inevitably involved.
Key Takeaways:
Navigating life’s challenges often involves facing a sequence of distressing events that can quickly accumulate, impacting our professional performance and emotional well-being. Here are some strategies to manage and mitigate the effects of such experiences effectively:
- Team Support: Don’t shoulder the burden alone. Collaborate with colleagues who understand your experiences. Sharing the load can provide both practical and emotional support.
- Manage Stress Pragmatically: During a crisis, prioritize essential tasks and ignore peripheral stresses, such as the pressure of public perceptions or media responses. Focusing on what truly matters can reduce overall stress.
- Reflective Review: After each crisis, take the time to assess your actions and decisions. Identify what was effective and what could be improved. This reflection not only prepares you for future incidents but also helps you regain a sense of control and competency.
- Emotional Resilience: Recognize and accept your feelings related to traumatic events, understanding that such emotions are natural and valid. Taking time to process these feelings can prevent them from overwhelming you later.
- Preventative Self-care: Engage in regular self-care practices that maintain your mental and physical health. Activities like meditation, exercise, or engaging in hobbies can act as buffers against the cumulative stress of professional challenges.
These strategies can help you maintain your balance and ensure that you’re equipped to handle whatever comes your way with strength and resilience.
Share Your Experience: Let’s Learn Together
Have you ever been surprised by how your body remembered a trauma your mind had tried to forget? Do you have moments that accumulated until you just had to let go? Share your strategies for managing stress and trauma in our challenging field. Your insights could provide much-needed support for someone struggling through similar experiences.
Drop me an email at Jane@youcantmakeitupeducation.com and share your experience, or drop in a comment!
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Stay tuned for more stories, insights, and opportunities to learn from our shared experiences. Welcome to the ongoing journey of “You Can’t Make It Up Education”—where the stories are real, the lessons are shared, and the support is unwavering.
Additional Resources:
For some weekly podcast inspiration, check out one of my favorites – Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin.