The holiday season is perfect for catching up with old friends, swapping stories, and even stealing a quiet moment away from the holiday chaos. Over the break, I had the chance to sit down with a friend who’s an experienced elementary school principal.
As we chatted, she mentioned she’d read my recent article, When Did We Say It Was Okay? in AASA’s November publication. (If you haven’t read it yet, I’ll just say it raises a few eyebrows and even more questions.)
Naturally, our conversation drifted toward a topic that seems to be on everyone’s mind lately: extreme student behaviors.
So, I asked her: When was the last time you went a whole day without a call to assist with extreme student behaviors?
Now, to be clear, I wasn’t asking about the everyday mischief we’ve come to expect—missing homework or a sneaky candy stash. I meant the kind of behaviors that derail the learning environment entirely: verbal aggression, physical outbursts, or worse.
She thought for a moment, then laughed and said, “Maybe the first day of school? Honestly, I can’t remember.”
That’s right—this seasoned school leader, with years of experience under her belt, could not recall the last time she had a “quiet” day at work.
A student avoids following a direction to complete their work by urinating on the carpet in the classroom.
When Did This Become Normal?
Her response sparked another question:
Do you remember when this started to become normal?
She paused, then shared something I’ve heard from many school leaders. There was a time when extreme behaviors weren’t an everyday occurrence. Back then, it might have been one or two students who needed regular interventions. Now? A much larger number of students need significant support, often involving multiple adults, on a daily basis.
Sound familiar?
If you’ve worked in education for any length of time, you’ve probably seen this shift firsthand. What used to be the exception is now the rule, and it leaves us wondering:
- When did the balance tip?
- What changed to bring us here?
A Deepening Puzzle
This topic is like opening Pandora’s box. Once you start thinking about it, you realize how tangled it all is:
- The thin, blurry line between non-compliance and behavior disorders.
- Deciding when behavior is “typical” versus requiring special education verification.
- The infamous parent comment: “This never happens at home!”
Schools have invested in all kinds of strategies, including trauma-informed care, restorative practices, restraint and seclusion policies, and specialized staffing. Despite these efforts, the calls keep coming, the incidents keep increasing, and the stakes feel higher than ever.
The Big Question
The interventions are multiplying, but the problems aren’t going away. In fact, they’re growing. It’s a frustrating, often overwhelming cycle that leaves many educators asking one critical question:
Why?
Questions to Consider:
- What’s your “normal”?
When did extreme student behaviors start becoming a daily challenge in your school? Can you pinpoint when the tipping point occurred? - What do you think changed?
Are these behaviors a symptom of societal shifts, new expectations, or something else? What patterns have emerged in your experience? - How has this changed our focus?
How much time and energy have been drained from teaching and learning to manage these behaviors? What’s the cost to academic growth, creativity, and the joy of education? - What’s pulling us off track?
Beyond the daily incidents, how have systemic issues, policies, or resource gaps led schools to prioritize crisis management over their core mission?
Your Next Step:
Start reflecting and asking questions. Reclaiming teaching and learning as our primary purpose begins with recognizing how far we’ve been pulled away from it.
Jane
Stay tuned for Part 2 (Keeping Kids in School vs. Sending Them Home) in this series, where we’ll explore this question further. Because figuring out the “why” is the first step.